A Wise Friend
A true friend does not step away when adversity comes. He steps closer.
In 1947, Jackie Robinson was beginning a season that would make baseball history with the Brooklyn Dodgers. As the first Black player in modern Major League Baseball, Robinson faced insults, hostility, and rejection from crowds, opposing players, and even some of his own teammates.
But Pee Wee Reese, the Dodgers captain, chose to stand by him. In one of baseball’s most remembered scenes, Reese walked across the field, spoke with Robinson, and placed an arm around his shoulder. He made it clear that Robinson would not stand alone.
That is a powerful picture of friendship.
Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
This verse teaches us that a wise friend is no fair-weather friend. A wise friend loves when life is easy and when life is hard. A wise friend is present in times of joy and in times of trouble.
The Book of Proverbs gives us a simple but important principle for biblical friendship: the best way to make a wise friend is to be a wise friend.
Do I Have Wise Friends?
One of the most important questions we can ask is this: Do I have wise friends?
The people we spend time with shape us. Proverbs 13:20 says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
That is a serious warning and a gracious invitation.
If we walk with wise people, we will grow in wisdom. If we surround ourselves with foolish people, we should not be surprised when we suffer the consequences of foolish decisions.
That does not mean we only spend time with people who already agree with us, look like us, or live just like us. But it does mean our closest friends should be people who help us walk with the Lord, not drift away from Him.
Wise friends help us fear the Lord. They encourage us to walk humbly with God. They help us submit ourselves to what is good, holy, and true.
So it is worth asking: Do my closest friendships pull me toward Jesus or away from Him?
Am I a Wise Friend?
The next question may be even more important: Am I a wise friend?
It is easy to think about the kind of friends we want. It is harder to consider the kind of friend we are.
Proverbs 12:26 says, “One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
Every friendship leads somewhere. We are either helping others walk in wisdom or helping them drift toward folly.
Being friendly is good, but being a wise friend is better. A wise friend does not slander. A wise friend does not reveal secrets. A wise friend does not spread strife, repeat offenses, flatter deceptively, or lead others into anger.
A wise friend asks, “How can I help this person walk in God’s wisdom?”
None of us are finished products. We all need help. But God is gracious. He is not looking for people who pretend they have it all together. He is looking for people who will admit they need help and keep coming back to His gospel.
So we can pray, “God, make me the wise friend You want me to be.”
A Wise Friend Shows Up in Adversity
A wise friend practices attendance in adversity.
Proverbs 17:17 says a friend loves at all times. That means a wise friend is there when hardship comes.
Sometimes friendship looks like opening your home. Sometimes it looks like showing up in a hospital room. Sometimes it is answering a heartbreaking phone call. Sometimes it is sending a simple text that says, “I’m available to talk if you need someone to talk to.”
A wise friend does not always have to say the perfect thing. Sometimes he simply needs to be present.
That kind of friendship matters in the church. Sometimes our spiritual family is closer and more present than our earthly family. When someone is hurting, grieving, struggling, or alone, the church should be filled with wise friends who step closer.
A Wise Friend Values Quality Over Quantity
Having many friends is not wrong, but a great many shallow friendships cannot replace a few faithful ones.
Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
We need people who know the real us. We also need to make ourselves knowable to them.
If we do not want superficial friends, we must not be superficial friends. We need faithful friends who are humble, present, loyal, and willing to stay when things become difficult.
A faithful friend is worth more than a crowd of casual companions.
A Wise Friend Is Willing to Correct and Be Corrected
One of the hardest parts of friendship is correction.
Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” A wise friend will sometimes tell us what we do not want to hear because we need to hear it.
That kind of correction may sting, but it is a gift.
Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Genuine friendship helps shape us into people we would not become on our own. Through wise, faithful, Christ-centered friendships, God sharpens us and makes us more like Jesus.
Christ-Centered Friendship in the Church
We need genuine Christ-centered friendships in the local church.
Friendship is a gift from God, but it also serves a purpose in His kingdom. Jesus uses our friendships to make us more like Himself.
The local church is filled with people who have admitted the same thing: we are a work in progress. We need grace. We need God’s Word. We need the Holy Spirit. And we need one another.
The best way to make a wise friend is to be a wise friend.
By God’s grace, as we humbly submit ourselves to the Lord, we will grow in wisdom. And as we live out that wisdom, we may look beside us and find another believer saying, “You too?”
Together, we can walk through adversity, pursue faithful friendship, offer loving correction, and become more like Jesus.
Because more than any other person, Jesus calls us friend.
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